Labels: Ray Chua
He knows that she dislike people gambling, especially her loves one. He is feel that he failed so many things. He failed to feel happy at time as he believe to have been stressed. He failed to take control of his mind cause he can't stop thinking. He failed to cheer her up at time when she need him? He failed to be a stronger n better man. He failed to get her things she likes, in his mind he always wanted to get all those things she likes but he is unable to, due to some reason. He know at time she want some things to keep by her which is given by him. He is just nobody and why he keep thinking of becoming somebody which other always think " that impossible ''. Just because he wants a better life for him and his family with her. He is not addicted (please truth him). He just want to get away from stress for awhile. it is not about the gambling, it is not about winning or losing. It is about the games. He did not mean to nelgect her. He still loves n care for her. He really does, He really loves her. He really mean it. Sorry for for the nelgect and anythings that he had did wrong. truthfully sorry. At time, we understand everyone have stress, most people will use divertion or do things they likes to move away for stress for awhile. But what he mean here is that he really do loves her deeply truthfully and nothing can replace her. Nothing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P.S : Sorry Girl, hubby understand that some of the things i did had cause your anger. I know what is it. I swear i am not addicted to them. I am sorry. This does not change my loves for you. I still loves you as much and i really do. Sorry, I loves you. please forgive my mistake. Loves,Ray
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Labels: Ray ChuaGuess What???
I am Snake-ing now. I had been near 5mth in the Company and it is really bad. I guess i really dislike the job as well as the company. Share a little background about this company i am in, with you.
So it's goes like this. Company Shutdown due to holiday such as Company Trip/ CNY AL(Leave/no pay Leave) will be deducted. Company Trip, company only pay $500/- the rest self-pay still must sign contract for 6mth. Then different department is not supportive at all, Blame pushing around. Many things UNDONE. Manager have no knowledge on products, If i ask her, she will reply (erm... i don't know, you go check the book or ask your senior). i don't understand how on earth she can be manager. Not forgeting, if i visit a Doctor outside and get an MC it will not be counted. I would have to replace the MC as a AL or no pay Leave. If i visit their company doctor, company only pay S$20/- the rest of the fees will be self fork out. If OT till 8pm + most of the time, company will not pay OT salary ( but OT is a Must). If Late for 6min to 15min, company will not hesitate to cut a few dollars from your wages. Company price is also 2-5 time more in the market and they expect a high sales volume from us. That the reason the more i stay, the more stress i will have. But at this very moment, I had to stay till atleast March or April for the sake of our New HDB flat which is in the 2nd stage, which is choosing the unit and doing the Housing-Loan.
Not forgeting to update, me and my girl had just apply for a flat in Punggol ( Punggol Topaz ) and we had gotten our Queue number. Our queue is 182 out of 542 unit. Our selecting of unit should be most prob in Feb or March.
It have been busy and stressful for the past weeks. That the reason for not blogging till now.
CNY ahead, Birthday ahead, Study and exam ahead. School ending in Apirl =) House selecting ahead. A new chapter ahead, I hope for a better life ahead =)
Wishing everyone a Happy Chinese New Year.
Blessing for my family to have good health and good luck.
Blessing for my road ahead to be smooth with my girl.
Blessing for my friends to be happy daily.
Thanks for everythings i have and for more better days ahead.
Forgive and forget the past.
Learn and apply in the future.
Ray Chua,
Happy Chinese New Year
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Labels: JayWalkRayI hope people can understand me, please!!! It is so hard to please everyone. Please, someone tell me what to do. Advise me to what should i do and how should do things/ manage time/manage events and problems. Is there someone ever though of how i feel and what my feeling?
I hate to reject people or tell someone off but i hate to been sandwich too. It is hard to be nice all the time and thinking for others at times. life really suck big time. someone please save from all this.
To my girl:
I am always trying to please both family members and my girl. Time is always the big problem. I know time is less to acompany all or for all. I am always trying to plan things out. But I am no superman. I am really really under pressure. Time for work, school and most time i left with will be trying to plan for my girl. but due to different in work time, time bacame scarce in between. I really can't change anythings, the only things to change is only if i dont work. Sorry girl this is what deep in hubby heart. Hubby want you to be happy, always trying my very best in all mean to make you happy. I know after a 6 days work week you really want a day of hubby for your own. I really understand. But due to my dad request, I hard for me to say no. I understand you will feel down. I hope you understand at time is not hubby don't want but things and events always came the wrong time.It is even not enough time for me to react. I am sorry for that. I could only say I am useless cause i really no superman. Hubby really hope girl is able to pull through all those with hubby to our future, and not leaving me alone to handle things. All I will ask for is your support, understanding and encouragement. All those will be enough to keep me going. Thank you my girl, loves hubby.
To my parent:
I understand time spend is less. I don't to compare with other. But have i not done enough? what is really expected from me? am I useless and heartless in your heart? So what if you said you have brought me up till now i am? It still does not mean that i have and must kill all my events and help yours? This is a request and should not be a demand or force act (THERE IS NEVER A MUST). Why do you guys always think that your events or things are always more important that mine? Have you spare thought for me and what i my feeling? SO YOU THINK YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT? (THERE IS NEVER AN ALWAYS RIGHT). I am just showing respect. So you feel that bringing me up till now and doing all those, working so hard because for the family, for me? So i have to "help" in whatever unconditionally in return to so call repay all those??? So I am the want to blame afterall? If I don't help I so call selfish? Heartless? If you feel that you had done enough for me. So from today on ward, I will proof to you, I will be somewhere there without YOUR HELP and I SWEAR!!! I am no longer a kid. I will not rely on you anymore and this is what you said to me. I will proof you that I can still live on without YOUR HELP. Don't think all things that you do are always right. And not only remember those things that your do for me, please go and think though as I do stand out to help when the family need help.
LIFE SUCK BIG TIME. I HATE MY LIFE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? F**K!!!
I FILL THIS POST WITH TEARS, ANGER, DISSAPOINTMENT AND PURE FEELING.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Labels: JayWalkRayFor anyone who is reading this post. I am just sharing a little piece of my mind, not refering to
anyone.
Have anyone thought of how you want to lead your life? What is the needs and wants in your
life? what is your goal in life? what will you choose is life, time or money? and what are you doing
now?
Let talk about a normal life. Why can't human life be as simple? In fact most of us are not doing
what we like in life? Sorry, if anyone do not agree with me. We have too much of the "wants" in
our life and those "wants" are never ending wants. In result, that why everyone is working so
hard to achive every little "wants" they have in their life to make them feel happy. But are those
the real happiness or is just an act? Think about this, aiming for all the big "Wants"(eg. Branded,
big car, big house) in life by working, do not get you far. 1st get all the "needs" in life such as a
simple shelter the time with family and a little saving. Next think of doing things you really like
to do. We just live life this once. If you have the chance or even find the chance, why not try
doing something you really like or love to do? And not just doing what you don't like just because
to achive the "wants" in your life. Think about this, most people do things and get things just to
show to people around, "this and that is what i have in life". But should that be the kind of
happiness one should have? in this case everyone is just actor and actress. Doing all those things
to show other. But have you did thing for yourself? for your loves one? Those i feel are much
more important. Stop spending on things to show!!!
What i have to say is, you are working so hard bt at the end of the day those are still for other.
Your boss, for people around you to see. Where do you think you stand and what have you really
achive?
Think of this when you are down. When you came to the world, you came with nothing. So every
little things you have is aready an achivment. When you have this thinking, you will be much
more content. You will be much more happy and things will be easiler.
Do somethings for yourself, think about that. =)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Labels: JayWalkRayLOST
As i had just recover from sick. This month it is really not a good month for me, things does not went smooth for me. Start of the month my gal fell sick and ward for 4 days. During that point for time, i sold 2 machines and now 1 is returning. I really need the numbers and yet my cousin is not doing well when he had quite afew appointments running in result of been his driver, i am not able to run or find more customers. So i do not have much appointment to run too.
The very next moment. Fever, flu, sore throat, bodyache and headache found me at the same time. They attack me so badly and i was down, really really sick. Sick for almost a week. Thanks to my caring wifely, she was there to take care of me and i did not work for a week. Also not forgeting that my exam is around the corner, it made me more stress.
Thinking of time, cashflow, study, cpf, career, Flat, car, a better life, future and so many things... I suddenly feel so lost. How i hope i was still a kid with no stress and having a carefree life but that is part of growing up. So i lost this time round and feel lost too.
Suddenly so much things happen during this one short month. Suddenly feel so lost. I lost the mood to work, I lost my path is life and i do not know where i am heading to. I need the light!!!
.........................................................................................................................................................................
After sharing this little though i have with my wifely, i somehow feel better. Hope Tomorrow Will Be A Better Day. Always look on the bright side of life, Just Do It. Please show me some light.
Loves her always,
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Labels: JayWalkRayToday, I am back to work after 3 weeks of reservist. Reservist was really a waste of time. Doing nothing or doing shit task and got shit scold ng on my last day. I mean really they should use their brain to think, we are here to help redues their job and we only got paid peanut about 300+ buck and please don't expect a 3000 job done ma.
-.-''ll
And one good news, my girl got her promotion yesterday and i was so happy too. =)
As for today. I really want to said that i hate taxi driver so much. Sometime i really don't understand how those people get their licence. They drive like nobody business. Cuting into others lane without signal and putting other road user in danger. As most accident always involve taxi. As to today after my normal working scope. I send my girl home along Bt. Timah area, driving at the speed around 60+ km/hr. I was checking my blind spot and suddenly my girl shouted the next moment i turn back and jam break the cab is like only few Meter infront of me. I was told by girl that the cab came out suddenly and we nearly bang into him. I shock the both of us. That is realy a F**King cab driver. I was so piss off. If my girl did not shout, i think i would have bang into him aready. Lucky nothing happen. I Really Hate Taxi Driver. Please go and retake your driving lah.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Labels: JayWalkRayMy gal is doing her night shift again. I know she use to like it in the past in ward 11/12 as it is fun and enjoyable. Now, it is always the shift she hate the most. It is always busy and hetic. And i don't like it too because in the past we are still able to chat, Fb, Msn and Msg. Now nothing at all because she is too busy. But most importantly is that she don't even have time to rest. Seeing her tired really hurt. Always not drinking enough water. Always skiping meal. It really hurt for me to see her tired, sick and lack of sleep. =(
I will always pray that her night will be smooth. Missing her badly. Must take care at work okies my baobei. Hubby loves you.
Last night, we when to YT Mum booths at scape. Althought was quite a short meet out, it is always great meet this group of peeps. Today meet Wx and Alan too. After sending my baobei to work seeing her sad and tired =( i hope i can be there with her to acompany her at work but i can't. Sob. We went to town and walk around. Then we drop by new shooping mall opp Scape. We found an intresting new game so we played. It is really a great new exp. It's call the Billi-Bowl. Really drop by to give it a try, is really fun. It is a mix of Pool and bowling. =)
Baobei have a smooth night okies.
Everyone goodnight.